October 21st

5 years...it's been 5 years. It seems like yesterday...and felt like yesterday. It was a very hard day for me. I still had to go to school and take a test, I worked out like crazy and took Melissa to the cemetery after school. She doesn't quite understand yet what that day really means yet. She had a hard time understanding why I was so upset that day, and decided she should push my buttons. I ended the day sitting on the couch alone because I just sent her to bed.
We had a good conversation about being sensitive to people's feelings, especially those painful feelings. I think she will eventually get it, but it is hard for a 6 year old to just get it. I love that going to the cemetery is such a treat for her though. It's our bonding time, she gets to bring things to her dad and talk to him. She loves it. She plays, she talks to him, we eat snacks together, she brings him things she makes or finds just to share it with him. This year, she left him a lady bug in a jar and wrote all sorts of things on a pumpkin for him. Every time we go to the store and she sees flower displays she begs to buy some so we can take them to her dad. I'm glad going there is such a positive experience.