Reflection on 2009

Time really does fly when your older. I remember when Christmas couldn't come soon enough, hours felt like days and when December 30 rolled around it felt like an eternity until my birthday exactly a month later. When I was a child I would have started the count down today until my birthday. That doesn't happen so much anymore. I can't believe where the last 4 months went. I blinked and they were gone. Another semester done in school, work, and working with the scouts and planning ward parties. I guess that is where all my time went. In between all that, I tried to make my time count with Melissa, but not always successful.

So I'm ending this year on a high note, or a dark note rather. My hair is a few shades darker which I love and most importantly I did succeed in one goal, I'm rather embarrassed to admit it though. I made it to the temple once this year, on December 30. I made a goal this time last year to make it at least once this year. I made it once. It's too bad I waited until the last day I could do it, now I can't exceed my goal. There is always next year right? I will do better.

I am very sad about not going more often. The feelings I get when I am there are so peaceful and reassuring, I need that throughout the year. I always feel so much closer to Joe when I'm doing temple work, it feels like we are working side by side getting the work done. That is my goal for this next year. Get to the temple more than just once. I'll try for once a month.

There is so many things I want to accomplish in this next year. It is so hard to believe another decade has gone by. Reflecting back 10 years ago, I was preparing for a mission. I just got my call to serve in Ireland, and was anxiously engaged in the preparations. I had just met Joe for the first time 10 years ago. Wow, a lot happens in 10 years. It's been an incredible journey with lots of growth and lessons learned. I'm thankful for every bit of it. I am a different person today than I was 10 years ago. Mostly for the better, I hope.

A new journey awaits me now, a new decade, starting my 30's. I can't wait to see what it brings for me. I have great hopes for a great decade of many great blessings in my life. I have many goals that I would like to accomplish and I look forward to all the growth and changes I get to see in Melissa the next few years.

What a great close to the 2000's. We cherish our memories always, live today the best we can, we hope for a bright future.

Creative!

I love this...she was watching her favorite station, the Sprout channel. They showed her how to make these headbands, so she went to her desk in her room and made them without any problem. I love that she can see it done and then do it herself. AWESOME! I thought they were so cute. It made me realize, if I give her the tools she needs, she could create anything she wanted anytime. I love that she is so creative and loves to do art and crafty stuff. That's my GIRL!!

Christmas Morning

I love Christmas traditions! Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without Melissa and Steve standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting to come up and see what Santa brought them. This is the first year in 2 years that Melissa hasn't woken up on Christmas morning with a fever. She was more excited to look and play with the things that Santa brought her.

She had to talk to Mrs. Claus a couple of times to make sure she got on the good list, but overall she has been a really good girl this year. It's a good thing Santa takes an average of the whole year instead of just the week before Christmas, or she would have gotten a lump of coal for sure.

My personal thought is that since Christmas is about the birth of our Savior, we need to look at our kids the way the Savior looks at us. We all make mistakes, huge ones, all the time. None of us are perfect. He is merciful, He is forgiving, and he loves us unconditionally no matter what we do. He wants us to do our best and if we do, he will pour out blessings on us.

I think sometimes we can be too critical of our children's mistakes. I know I forget sometimes that they are just learning how to live and they test us to set limits for themselves. I am sure thankful that the Savior doesn't treat me like I treat Melissa sometimes. I really need to work on being more forgiving and patient with her.

I am thankful for this season and that we have the Savior to look to for peace and an example of how to live and serve people.

This semester has been pretty busy and a tough one for me...I started the semester a little rocky by losing my grandpa. I will miss his smile and the way he made me feel when I walked in the room. I always felt like he was truly excited to me every time we visited. I miss that feeling of having someone truly excited to see me and Melissa. It was the 4th funeral I'd been to in a month. The month of August, there were a lot of people that I love that have moved on.

We were supposed to drive to California for Jolynn's baptism and that was abruptly stopped when we crashed in Caldwell...the bluish greenish van didn't survive, but we all did. Mom's thumb got the worst of it. She is still in the process of getting that back to normal. My knee decided that the console between Mom and Dad shouldn't be attached anymore hence the wonderful colors in my knee. Those deep bruises take a long time to go away. I know the reason for seatbelt checks now since mine failed to work.

Melissa started Kindergarten this fall, and she absolutely loves it and her teacher. I really like her teacher also. She has learned so much and I am constantly amazed at everything she is learning. I volunteer weekly in her classroom and I love helping the kids practice all of their letters and numbers.

I am still teaching drawing classes for Young Rembrandts and I love it. I like that I go to so many different schools and get to meet so many kids. Between Melissa's class, Cub Scouts, and Young Rembrandts, I get lots of time to spend with lots of kids. I think it's to give me perspective on how Melissa acts. I understand better how normal she really is and sometimes how good she really is compared to some kids. (-:

We got to go Utah in October for my mission reunion which was a lot of fun. It's always fun to see people that you spent so much time with again. It has been a good 5 years since I'd seen any of them and I really enjoyed myself. I really enjoyed the time I spent with family too. I hadn't seen any of my cousins or my aunt Rita for a very LONG time. I really enjoyed just hanging out and getting to know them better.

Seamus is wearing the infamous neck brace, it's gotten a workout the last few months, between my pinched nerve in my neck and dad's, it gets well used. Halloween was fun, Melissa decided to be a monarch butterfly instead of yearlong plans of being Belle. She learned all about butterflies in her Kindergarten class and loves them, although her favorite animal as she has informed me is turtles.

This year has been 4 years since Joe died in October. I have learned that I still need to have a day off that day. I had plans on staying home to scrapbook, but my wise mother knew better and kept me busy with shopping. We went to the cemetery and I ended up going the same time Joe's family went. I hadn't seen any of them in a long time.

Melissa got her first filling in her tooth and was absolutely perfect for the dentist. She didn't even whimper. The dentist told her she was the best patient he's ever had. That made her so happy. I was actually in shock the whole time because I usually have to hold her down when she needs shots. She didn't even flinch when he deadened her mouth.

Thanksgiving we went to California and spent time with the California family. I love spending time with Jana and Justin and their families. I know Melissa absolutely LOVES playing with her cousins down there. I can't believe everytime I see them, how big they are getting.

This year's ward Christmas party was a huge hit. Steve made a fabulous Santa Claus. It took so much stress off of me to have him do it. Last year was such a mess trying to find Santa. He loved doing it and he was so good with the kids.

Joe's birthday was on December 8. He would have been 32 years old. We went up and had to dig in the snow to find the headstone, but it's always worth it. Melissa picked out a stop sign that said Santa STOP here for him. All she can read is STOP. So she said she needed to put it on there because he STOPPED breathing. How her brain works, always surprises me. She even made him a snow angel next to the headstone. It always surprises me what she thinks about all of this.

I promise to do better this next year with this blog. It's a lot to catch up when you wait 6 months. MY BAD! I will do better.

Yep, I'm still HERE!!

I didn't disappear completely from the radar, just in case your wondering. I've been so busy over the summer and throughout the semester, the blog kind of took a back seat to everything else. I will catch you up the best that I can before the year is over. At the beginning of June we went to Idaho Falls, for a family reunion...funny thing we ended up spending all of our time at the hotel and at Van and Debi's house feeding the animals instead. I found out later that the family reunion never happened because of rain.

I spent most of my summer planning and carrying out monthly ward picnics, monthly pack meetings for scouts, and having some fun by taking Madisyn to the Jonas Brothers concert and watching Melissa grow up and lose teeth! Can't believe it's time to lose her teeth, I remember it taking so long for her to get them, and now they are all falling out! I was so proud of her, the first one and the third one she lost, she pulled them out all by herself. The second one was painful for all involved. She was so freaked out she puked all over my hand as I held her for Grandma. Little traumatic, but we got her done.

We keep working on the house, it's a work in progress and we are all excited to get it done. We were a little slowed down a few times, but we keep going. Mom is working her tail off. I wish I could have done more to help during the semester, but if you've been a college student at all, you know your life becomes nothing but books and homework throughout the semester. I'm so excited to be done with this semester and with good grades under my belt.

Catch up!!

So yeah, I'm a little behind on my blogging. A lot has happened since Crazy Hair Day!! Especially the last week of May. We did our annual trip to all the cemeteries and enjoyed every bit of it. Melissa LOVES sticking the flowers in the ground, she thinks it is absolutely wrong when the stones are naked. I can't believe she graduated from preschool and is ready for Kindergarten. I am very proud of everything she learned this year. The teacher pointed out how far she had come in just being able to identify letters and especially how she draws.  She gave her a major in painting and a minor in coloring. That's my girl! She loves art...Her biggest accomplishment this year was in counting though. They nicknamed her "the count" at the beginning of the year.  She is going to miss Mrs. Ruddy and Mrs. Waybright, it's a good thing she will see them next year when she goes to Mrs. Schafer's class. 

The day after she graduated preschool, she had a dance recital. She was totally excited to wear a pretty costume, but more importantly wear MAKEUP!! She was thrilled. She did really well. The fun part was at the end, they had a finale where all the dancers go up and just dance. The funny part was the last dance before the finale, I looked over at the side of the stage and Melissa was just standing there. I heard lots of giggling from the crowd because they were watching her instead of the last dance. When it was time for her to go out on the stage, she walked out there and then freaked out when the rest of the dancers came running on the stage. She slowly made her way to make an exit off the stage, but her teacher took her by the hand and danced with her on stage. When they were all supposed to exit they all did, except Melissa. She stood in the middle of the stage, looked out at the crowd, spotted me, waved and yelled, "HI MOM!!!!" Needless to say, the audience got a pretty entertaining show at the end. I don't think she wants to do dance lessons again, and I don't blame her. Been there done that, want to find something different. It's been pretty exciting the last month to say the least. We've gone to Pocatello, and remodeled like crazy on the house. Life just keeps going!!!

CRAZY HAIR DAY!!!

Today was crazy hair day at Hawthorne school...little did I know how far these kids like to go with their hair. IT WAS CRAZY!!! I thought Melissa's looked pretty crazy, but looking at what some of the other kids did at the school, this was MILD! She liked her curls though and she thought it was pretty crazy considering every other day her hair is as straight as a pin. She definitely did not get my curl at all. I haven't been blogging as much lately, so I thought I'd throw this in because it was a fun day. I can't believe that preschool is over in a week and a half! Time to prepare for Kindergarten...where does the time go? 

My BIG 5 year old

I can't believe she is  5 years old. We did two parties so Grandpa and Grandma could be at one, so she got two birthday cakes. Very exciting!
She was so very lucky this year because she got a teddy bear directly from Ireland. A family from my mission that I love very much, sent her an Irish teddy bear for her birthday. They are a very sweet family that I miss very much. 

She is so excited to go to Kindergarten in the fall...Luckily the shock of leaving her at a school won't be an issue because I already went through it at the beginning of this school when she started preschool. It is the same schedule as Kindergarten, so I've already done the crying thing. She loves preschool and has learned probably a lot more than I could teach her at home.  Especially how to relate to and get along with all the other kids in her class. She has many friends and always asks to play at their house. I was doing ok with her getting older, until I made the mistake of going through pictures on the computer and browsing her baby pictures. It's taken me a couple of days to recover, especially since I start thinking about how many birthday's Joe hasn't been here to see. It makes me really sad, but I know it is for a reason, and she is an amazing little girl. She has days that she will tell me she misses him, even though she probably doesn't remember him that much, but she still misses him and asks me tons of questions about him, I love when I get to talk to her about him, especially when she reminds me of him. I tell her little things about how they are similar and she just laughs and loves it. Time goes on, whether I like it or not, and we are adjusting to every situation the best we can, because that is all we can do. I guess my biggest lesson is to hold on and cherish every moment we get to be in because it won't last...things always change, so be grateful for little moments. 

The Dead Bird

As Melissa and I walked up the driveway, Melissa stopped dead in her tracks, her hand flew up to her mouth and she whispered, "Mom, that bird is dead". She put her hands on her hips, sighed and went to find Grandma to bury the thing.  Grandma shoveled the dead bird into a paper bag and handed it to Melissa, and she had no problem holding it. 

It was a really rainy day so the ground was very easy to dig, so Grandma is digging away and came across a HUGE nightcrawler. Keep in mind, Melissa is holding a dead bird with no problem.  Grandma picks the worm up with the shovel to show her and she FREAKS!!! She was holding a dead bird, but terrified of a worm! What a nerd!

As they finished, I was kind of chuckling because she stood there with this very solemn look on her face, like she lost her best friend. I asked her what she thought and she just bowed her head and said, "Poor bird." We were going to leave it at that, but she insisted that it needed a stone, so she stuck a straw with the lid on it.  As we walked in, she kept her head down and kept saying, "Poor bird, I'm really going to miss him." 

She cracks me up! I was thinking that it served it right for pooping so much on my car, but Melissa felt sorry for it, so I had to pretend. I love little children's empathy...I can learn so much from her.

More finished than before.

Yeah...we have a living space and Melissa has her very own bedroom!! We are still in a huge mess, but a lot more progress has been done since the last time. This has been a big project, that I am so happy to get done. 

Getting there

After much planning and working, we are finally seeing some results to months of renovating. Melissa and I decided it would be best to stay where we are at, living with Mom, Dad, and Steve. To make it better long term, Melissa needed her own room, not only for her, but for me too. She is being very helpful in all of our many projects. Some more helpful than others. I can't wait for all of this to be done, but the process has been eventful.

This is the upstairs bathroom. It took a long time, but Mom finally was able to conquer the tiling. She didn't let it get the best of her!! She showed it what she is made of and now, it is one fancy bathroom!!

Here is my bedroom. I took a chance with purple and black, not knowing how it would turn out, but I love it!!!  I'm only showing partial rooms due to the fact that they are not put together all the way...they still turned out great. We are just moving things along nicely!!

Pretty Girl

I love getting Melissa dressed up, and now she wanted it. She asked me to take a picture because she told me she looked beautiful that day. I put rollers in her hair the night before and the next morning I had a hard time getting them out of her hair because she wanted to keep them in. What a nerd!! Anyway, it made her feel pretty, I guess that is what counts. I had fun, she enjoyed it, and we made it to church on time. That's a good day in my book. It's she's too darn cute!

Valentines Day

What a fun day. I love all of the parties that Melissa gets to have in preschool. All of the kids in her class are so cute. She has great friends.  They decorated their own cupcakes and ate them along with a fancy sugar cookie that Melissa thought was the greatest because it had the tiniest sugar hearts sprinkled on them. 

Valentines Day was way too crazy though. I spent most of the day preparing for the preparedness fair. I made batch after batch of pumpkin soup, mom and steph made about a million pumpkin cookies, and I made a fancy poster with my new Cricut machine and I made handouts that I still have a ton of left. It was fun though. I'm glad it's over, it was a good turnout. Time to plan the next activity. 

Melissa gave me a Valentine, but I think she has eaten most of it. She gave me  a card and a little ceramic container with chocolates in it. Dad took her to the Dollar store and helped her pick everything out. It was very sweet of them. I loved it. Anyway, as hard as Valentines Day is for me, I enjoyed this year. I was busy, all my family was very thoughtful, (Thanks for my favorite candy, Steph) and I really didn't think about missing Joe until I sat down that night and remembered our first Valentine's Day together. What a sweet memory I have of him. It is one of my favorite.

Special Olympics

The torch for the Special Olympics came to Hawthorne Elementary. It was really cool! The kids cheered so loud for them all and sang a beautiful song that made everybody cry. It was amazing. All Melissa could talk about was "Special Olymkus"  She took Steve's Gold and 2 silver medals from Special Olympics to her class for show and tell. I personally enjoyed watching Melissa talk to them afterwards and watching Madisyn give her paper torch to one of the athletes.  It was a really cool program. I've been looking everywhere for the special olympics blue and white scarves, but they are no where to be found. They went quick. I was lucky, my friend Shannon decided to give me hers, so I have one now. Gotta love the Special Olympics!!